


Waiting For the Weekend

by Pineprin137



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Music is medicine, Netflix is therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 12:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineprin137/pseuds/Pineprin137





	Waiting For the Weekend

She couldn’t concentrate on the screen in front of her. The words swam before blurry eyes. She was exhausted in her mind, but her body was thrumming. She could barely maintain eye contact when required, and deep inside she was desperate to run. She couldn’t figure out if she was running to a safe warm haven or trying to evade the grasp of something dark and dangerous. Either way, her thoughts were rushing by too fast and she was dizzy trying to keep up. A few days ago she had been all smiles and laughter, but last night she had verged on tears while reading a love story.  


She shoved her headphones on and turned it up as loud as she dared in her tiny cubicle. They had a full office today and people were buzzing with excitement about the upcoming holidays. She had been trying to convince herself to get into the Christmas spirit since Halloween. About two weeks before Thanksgiving she had the urge to decorate her small apartment in reds and whites, greens and golds, glitter and greenery. She wanted to wrap presents and bake cookies. She wanted to hang non-existent stockings and build a snowman. Now just a few days to go and wished for nothing more than to be alone. The decorations sat on the floor, abandoned and ignored. She had bought the ingredients for oatmeal raisin cookies, but she couldn’t find the energy to make them. There had been a few anxious whispers in the office about the possibility of a white Christmas and she was desperately hoping not to find her car buried under inches of cold wet perfect-for-building-a-snowman snow when she had to drive across town for dinner at her parents’.  


She only wanted one thing right now. She wanted someone. Someone to make hot chocolate for, to snuggle up under her mound of fuzzy blankets and fall asleep next to. She needed to feel safe. She craved a strong set of arms pulling her in when the noise got to be too much, or her coworkers got on her last nerve. Someone to remind her that she survived a lot this year and she could handle a few frazzled nerves and worries about last minute gifts and awkward conversations with the family she only saw once a year. There were only four days left and she was not even close to being ready. She still had to finish a few gifts for her parents and she needed to put together a baking mix that she had foolishly volunteered for when she was in better spirits back in November.  


She stole a quick glance at the clock and calculated how much longer her daily sentence would last. She sighed when the clock hadn’t advanced beyond the hour. The day was dragging so slowly at moments time seemed to move backward. She stretched her arms above her head and tried to focus on the papers scattered over her keyboard. She took a deep breath and heard her therapist in her head reminding her to take her to-do list one thing at a time. Don’t focus on all the things you have left to do, take a minute and run through the ones you’ve checked off already. Unfortunately, today that was a depressingly short list while her yet-to-be-done kept growing. Each time she marked off one mundane task, someone was rushing up to her or emailing her with two more in its place.  


She made her way slowly through two of the easier assignments and decided she earned a snack break. She plugged her headphones into the charger to avoid a battery-level-low break down later and pushed away from her desk. Once in the breakroom, she marveled at all of her options. The brokers had been very generous with the variety of holiday treats this year. There were chocolates and cookies, popcorn and candy. Crumbs and discarded serving tools littered both tables and a large portion of the countertop. The mess made her skin itch. She yearned to grab a broom, wet wipes, and some soap and go to town. Alas, she didn’t have the time and even if she did her efforts would be erased in under an hour. She still had so much to do and at her current rate it would take up to the last minute to finish everything in her inbox before clocking out. Her eyes roamed over the selection of sweets trying to pick out something that might provide her a boost of energy, or at least enough to keep her eyes open for another four hours. The cookies looked good, but she had devoured three of them earlier and indigestion was dimming their appeal. The fruit would be refreshing, but the sticky mess at her desk would hardly be worth it. She’d already had a few candies from holiday well-wishers and the biting into one of the chocolates would be like licking a sugar cube. She sighed. Maybe she should just forget the snack. She wasn’t particularly hungry, it had just been an excuse to wander.  


Sitting back down at her desk she unplugged her headphones from the charger and slipped them back over her ears. She hit play without looking at the song and opened up the document she had been working on since lunch. She took a few more deep breaths and tried to drown out the voices of the people on the phones. She closed her eyes for a few moments and imagined she was at home in her bed, sitting with her laptop and a fuzzy blanket draped over her legs. She opened her eyes and began to type.  
She couldn’t get out the door fast enough when it was time to go home. She almost ran into a coworker coming around the corner and then had to backtrack when she remembered her lunch in the fridge. If it was any other day she would have left it, but today was Friday and she hadn’t been shopping this week. Usually, she wore her headphones on the walk to her car, but today she was too impatient. She could get there just a few seconds sooner if she left them in her bag and the sooner she got to her beloved car, the sooner her weekend would really start.  


She grabbed her phone from the net pocket of her bag as soon as she collapsed into the seat. She needed to check the bank and see if her paycheck had arrived. She prayed to whoever was listening that she wouldn’t have to cook tonight. She loathed the idea of sweating and struggling through a recipe only to end up eating something that didn’t really satisfy her hunger. She let her head fall back and smiled when she saw the balance. She started the engine and let the music pick up where it left off as she rolled the windows down about halfway. It may be the middle of December, but it was almost fifty-five degrees outside and she had her coat on. The moment the breeze touched her skin she started to relax. She let her frustration and stress out as she sang along. She didn’t care if the guy behind her wasn’t a fan of FFDP, she belted it and drummed her fists on the steering wheel. She let her foot push the accelerator down a bit harder than she needed, just to feel the surge as the car raced forward. She decided at the last minute to avoid the chaos of the highway and take the long way home.  


She let the music blare until the voice in the speaker greeted her. Even as he spoke she was reluctant to turn it down. It felt as though she was being chastised for letting herself go. Her mouth watered when she accepted the bag of food through the window and as soon as she pulled away, the volume rose again. The rest of the drive was a blur, no longer enjoyment but a necessity. She stayed in the car for a few minutes after she parked to let the song finish and then juggled her work bag and instant dinner so she could dig her keys out of her pocket.  


The moment the door closed behind her she sighed. Finally, home she made her way to the kitchen to deposit her leftovers from lunch and snag a few extra napkins. She toed off her boots while she tossed her phone on the bed and made room for the burgers and pop on her nightstand. She felt a moment of guilt when she pushed aside the empty water glass and set down the medium soft drink, but then the aroma of melted cheese and crispy french fries took its place. She laid back against the pillows and pulled her computer onto her lap. Settling down into her warm fuzzy nest she figured that maybe if she didn’t have an eight-to-five job forty hours a week Netflix wouldn’t be so enthralling. Hopefully, she would never have to find out.


End file.
